You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
