I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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