I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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