I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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