watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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