two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
