Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize