i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
