There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
