She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
