I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
