I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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