After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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