Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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