I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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