i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
