Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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