3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
