He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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