Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
