Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
