Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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