4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize