i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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