I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
