I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
