Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
