Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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