ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
