Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
