hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
