So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
