He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
