you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
so let's talk penis.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
