when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize