and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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