I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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