how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't turn off my feet"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize