Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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