So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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