If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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