Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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