i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
