Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
