thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
