I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
