I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
