That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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