Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
