Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
