I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
