your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
