Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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