I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
