he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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