I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
