Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
