she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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