He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
