I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
