and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
