Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
