trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Never let your siblings swipe right.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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