You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
