yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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