It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
