Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
