im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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