What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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