Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize