Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
