You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just want to make out with him forever
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
