I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
